How to Use the Waiter One-to-One Template

Why structured waiter one-to-ones matter

Your waiters are the primary relationship between your restaurant and your guests. When they're thriving, guests feel cared for, spend more, and return. When they're struggling, you see complaints, low tips, and a floor that feels chaotic instead of welcoming.

The challenge is that waiters work intensely during service with little time for reflection. They manage multiple tables, navigate kitchen timing, handle difficult guests, and project warmth for hours on end. Without intentional one-to-ones, you'll only hear about problems when they become crises — or when they hand in their notice.

This template structures your weekly conversations around the areas that matter most for waiter performance and retention. Each section builds on the last: preparation gives you context, their agenda shows you what's on their mind, the discussion sections cover role performance, team dynamics, growth, and wellbeing, and the engagement indicators give you an early-warning system for disengagement.

Preparation

Complete these steps before each meeting to ensure a focused and productive conversation. Arriving prepared shows your waiter that you take this time seriously.

Review notes from previous one-to-one — Pull up the notes from your last session. What actions did you commit to? What did they commit to? If you promised to review the section rotation or speak to the kitchen about timing, check whether you followed through. Walking in without knowing what was agreed last time undermines the entire process.

Check recent performance data or feedback — Glance at their POS data from the past week: covers per shift, average spend, any notable transactions. Check for guest feedback mentioning them by name — positive or negative. This takes two minutes and gives you specific talking points instead of vague impressions.

Note any observations from the past week — Think about what you've noticed during service. Did they handle a difficult table particularly well? Were they quiet during Saturday's rush? Did they help a colleague or seem disengaged during a quiet period? Write down two or three specific observations before the meeting.

Send agenda prompt to employee ahead of time — Text them mid-afternoon: "Hey — we're catching up at 4. Anything from the last few days I should know about?" This gives them time to think. Waiters spend shifts reacting; asking them to suddenly reflect requires mental preparation. If they reply "all good," try: "What was the most frustrating moment of Saturday night?" Everyone has one.

Customisation tips:

• Schedule at the same time weekly — 4pm works well for dinner-service restaurants, after lunch cleanup and before evening prep
• 10-15 minutes is enough for a weekly check-in. Don't let it stretch into a 45-minute session unless something significant comes up
• Sit at a quiet table in an empty section. Don't use an office — it feels disciplinary. Grab two drinks and keep it informal
• For the first 90 days, keep these weekly without exception. After that, you can move to fortnightly if they prefer — but ask first

Their Agenda

Start every one-to-one by asking: "What's been on your mind?" Record whatever they raise before covering your own items.

If they say "nothing really," don't fill the silence immediately. Count to five. Silence is uncomfortable and they'll often fill it with something real. If they still don't, offer a specific opener: "How did Saturday feel for you? Talk me through the busiest 30 minutes." The specific framing works because "How was your week?" is too vague for someone who served 50 tables.

Once they're talking, ask "What else?" until they run out. Don't jump to solutions or share your perspective yet. This section is about understanding their world, not managing it.

If you have items to cover — menu changes, upcoming events, feedback from guests — mention them at the start so they know it's coming, then let them go first: "I want to talk about the new menu rollout before we finish, but first — what's been on your mind since last week?"

What to record: Their exact concerns in their own words. Don't paraphrase into management language — "section allocation feels unfair" captures reality better than "discussed floor management."

Role Performance

These four questions are designed to uncover how service actually feels from your waiter's position. Work through each one during the conversation and tick it off as you cover it.

"Which table from this week stuck with you — good or bad?"

This reveals what your waiter finds meaningful or frustrating. The tables that "stick" tell you what matters to them — whether it's a guest who praised their recommendation, a complaint they couldn't resolve, or a table that left without tipping. If they consistently remember negative experiences, they may be burning out. If they light up describing a great interaction, they're still engaged.

What good answers sound like:

• Describes a specific table with genuine detail and reflection
• Mentions what they did well or what they'd do differently next time
• Shows emotional investment in the guest experience

What to do with the answer: If it's positive, acknowledge specifically what they did well. If it's negative, discuss how to handle similar situations — and whether the system contributed to the problem.

"How is the communication with the kitchen working — are you getting what you need on timing and special requests?"

Kitchen-floor friction is one of the biggest sources of waiter frustration. This question surfaces whether they're getting accurate timing calls, whether special requests are handled properly, and whether they feel the kitchen supports them when things go wrong. A waiter who absorbs blame for kitchen delays without support will disengage quickly.

What good answers sound like:

• Specific examples of good or poor communication rather than vague complaints
• Understanding of the kitchen's perspective alongside their own frustrations
• Suggestions for how to improve coordination

What to do with the answer: Don't immediately take sides. Ask what specifically isn't working, then address it with the kitchen. If communication is genuinely broken, consider a brief FOH-kitchen meeting rather than trying to fix it through individual conversations.

"When you are in the weeds, what is usually causing it — too many tables, slow kitchen, something else?"

"In the weeds" moments reveal systemic issues. If the answer is always "too many tables at once," it's a pacing or rotation problem. If it's "slow kitchen," it's a communication or capacity issue. If it's "something else" — support staff, POS problems, bar delays — you've found a specific fix. Understanding what causes pressure helps you prevent it rather than just expecting your waiter to absorb it.

What good answers sound like:

• Names specific and recurring causes rather than just saying "everything"
• Identifies patterns (e.g., "always happens between 8 and 8:30 on Saturdays")
• Suggests what would help ("if the runner was in the right place" or "if tables were spaced out more")

What to do with the answer: If it's cover pacing, talk to whoever manages the door. If it's kitchen timing, talk to the chef. If it's section size, review the floor plan. Fix the system, not the symptom.

"How is your section feeling — are you happy with the tables you are getting, or does the rotation feel off?"

Section allocation is one of the most common unspoken frustrations. Waiters notice who gets the regulars, who gets the high-spenders, and who gets the awkward two-top by the kitchen door. They won't say it directly because it sounds petty — but it affects their earnings, their mood, and their sense of fairness. This question gives them permission to raise it.

What good answers sound like:

• Honest about whether allocation feels fair, even if they're uncomfortable saying so
• Specific examples rather than general complaints ("I've had table 4 three Saturdays in a row")
• Acknowledges that some variation is normal but persistent patterns are frustrating

What to do with the answer: Look at recent allocations objectively. If there's genuine bias, fix it immediately. If it's perception, explain the rotation logic transparently. Either way, they need to feel heard.

Record the key points from your discussion, focusing on recurring themes and anything that needs action. Note specific examples they gave — these are valuable evidence for performance reviews. If they mentioned a table they handled particularly well or a system that's failing them, capture that detail.

Team and Relationships

These questions surface the dynamics that affect service quality — colleague partnerships, team support, tip fairness, and difficult guests.

"Who do you work best with on shift? Who is harder to sync with?"

Some waiter pairs flow naturally — they cover each other, communicate without speaking, and make service seamless. Others create friction. Understanding these dynamics helps you schedule more effectively and identify relationships that need attention.

What good answers sound like:

• Names specific colleagues and explains what makes the partnership work or struggle
• Focuses on work style differences rather than personal complaints
• Shows awareness of their own contribution to team dynamics

What to do with the answer: Use scheduling insight where possible. Also probe: "What makes working with [person] easier or harder?" If there's genuine friction between two team members, address it — don't just avoid scheduling them together.

"When you need backup — covering a table, running food, handling a complaint — does the team step up?"

This reveals whether there's genuine team support or a "my section only" culture. A floor where waiters only focus on their own tables falls apart during rushes and creates guest-visible gaps. A floor where everyone helps creates seamless service.

What good answers sound like:

• Specific examples of colleagues helping or not helping
• Distinguishes between individuals who are supportive and those who aren't
• Acknowledges their own contribution to the team dynamic

What to do with the answer: If support is lacking, address it at team level. Make clear that everyone helps when needed — running food, clearing tables, covering during breaks. This is a culture issue, not an individual one.

"How is the tip situation working? Does the split feel fair?"

One of the most sensitive topics in any restaurant. Tips affect take-home pay directly, and perceived unfairness creates serious resentment — toward management, toward colleagues, and toward the job itself. Create space for honesty: "You can be direct about the money stuff. I'm not going to judge."

What good answers sound like:

• Honest about whether the system feels fair, even if it's uncomfortable
• Specific about what feels unfair ("I'm tipping out 30% to support staff who don't support me")
• Suggests improvements rather than just complaining

What to do with the answer: Be transparent about the system and its rationale. If there are genuine concerns, investigate. Don't dismiss money concerns — they directly affect whether people stay.

"Any guests who have been particularly difficult lately? Anyone who makes you dread seeing them in your section?"

Difficult regulars wear waiters down over time. A guest who's rude, demanding, or inappropriate once is manageable. The same guest every Friday becomes a burden that affects morale and performance. This question gives permission to raise something they might otherwise just absorb.

What good answers sound like:

• Names specific situations rather than general complaints about guests
• Describes what makes the guest difficult (behaviour, not just personality)
• Has tried to handle it themselves before raising it

What to do with the answer: If a regular is genuinely problematic, discuss handling strategies. You might need to intervene directly — speak to the guest, reassign them, or support your waiter during those interactions. Your waiter shouldn't dread coming to work because of a specific guest.

Capture the team dynamics discussed, any scheduling insights, and concerns that need follow-up. Note tip or fairness issues carefully — these often recur and are important context for retention conversations.

Growth and Development

These questions explore career aspirations and development needs. The answers shape how you invest in this waiter's growth.

"Do you see waiting as your career, or a step toward something else?"

There's no wrong answer, but the answer changes everything about how you develop them. A career waiter needs mastery goals — wine knowledge, section leadership, trainer responsibilities. An aspiring supervisor needs operational exposure — scheduling, complaints, floor management. Someone using waiting as a stepping stone still deserves investment, but you should be realistic about retention timelines.

What good answers sound like:

• Honest about their trajectory without feeling they need to perform loyalty
• Specific about what interests them, even if it's outside your restaurant
• Shows they've thought about it rather than just shrugging

What to do with the answer: If they want to stay FOH, focus on skill refinement and senior waiter pathways. If they want management, involve them in operational decisions. If it's a stepping stone, make their time valuable anyway — you'll get better work from an invested short-term employee than a disengaged long-term one.

"What would you need to learn to feel like you have really mastered this job?"

This surfaces their honest self-assessment. If they name something specific — wine knowledge, handling complaints, managing pace during rushes — you've found a concrete development opportunity. If they say "nothing" or "I don't know," they may be disengaged or lack self-awareness, both worth exploring.

What good answers sound like:

• Names specific skills or knowledge gaps
• Shows ambition to improve rather than defensiveness about weaknesses
• Connects learning to guest experience or personal satisfaction

What to do with the answer: Create a plan to build the skill they name. If it's wine knowledge, schedule time with the sommelier. If it's complaint handling, role-play scenarios. If it's speed under pressure, work on section management techniques together.

"If you were training a new waiter, what is the one thing you would tell them that nobody told you?"

This reveals gaps in your onboarding and training. Whatever they answer tells you what was missing from their own induction — and probably from everyone else's too. It also shows whether they think about their work reflectively, which is a sign of engagement.

What good answers sound like:

• Specific and practical ("Nobody told me the kitchen hates it when you send mods after the ticket's fired")
• Based on experience rather than opinion
• Shows care for incoming colleagues

What to do with the answer: If it's useful, add it to your training. If multiple waiters give similar answers, you've found a systemic gap.

"Where do you see yourself in a year — here, somewhere else, doing something different?"

The honest answer to this question is the most valuable piece of information in the entire one-to-one. If they're planning to leave soon, you can make their remaining time positive and plan for replacement. If they want to stay, you can build a path. If they're uncertain, you have an opportunity to influence their decision.

What good answers sound like:

• Genuine honesty rather than what they think you want to hear
• Specific enough to be actionable ("I'd like to be a supervisor here" or "I'm thinking about moving to London")
• Willing to have the conversation rather than deflecting

What to do with the answer: Don't react emotionally to any answer. If they want to leave, ask what would make them stay. If they want to progress, show them the path. If they don't know, help them think through it.

Record their career direction, development interests, and any specific skills they want to build. This feeds directly into performance review objectives and helps you plan training investment.

Wellbeing and Support

These questions catch burnout, frustration, and unmet needs before they cause resignations. Ask them genuinely, not as a box-ticking exercise.

"What is the single most frustrating thing about your job right now?"

This cuts through politeness to their top priority. Whatever they name is the thing most likely to make them leave if it's not addressed. The "single most" framing forces them to prioritise rather than list everything.

What good answers sound like:

• Names something specific and fixable rather than vague dissatisfaction
• Trusts you enough to be honest about genuine frustrations
• Differentiates between temporary annoyances and persistent problems

What to do with the answer: Fix it if you can. If you can't, explain why and offer alternatives. Either way, respond within 48 hours — speed of response matters more than the outcome.

"How are you doing with the pace — are you exhausted by the end of shifts, or do you have energy left?"

Burnout is the leading cause of waiter turnover. This question checks whether their workload is sustainable. A waiter who drags themselves through the last hour of every shift is giving worse service and looking for the exit. Back-to-back doubles, inadequate breaks, and relentless Saturday nights take a cumulative toll.

What good answers sound like:

• Honest about energy levels rather than performing toughness
• Identifies specific shifts or patterns that drain them
• Distinguishes between "good tired" (busy but satisfying) and "bad tired" (exhausted and resentful)

What to do with the answer: If they're exhausted, look at their schedule. Review break timing, double frequency, and overall hours. Small adjustments — an extra break during doubles, a quiet shift mid-week — can prevent burnout.

"Do you feel like you have enough authority to make calls — handling complaints, comping items — without checking everything?"

Waiters who can't make decisions feel micromanaged and slow. If they need to find a manager every time a guest complains about a steak, service suffers and their confidence erodes. This question reveals whether you've given them enough autonomy to do their job well.

What good answers sound like:

• Clear about where they feel empowered and where they feel restricted
• Gives examples of situations where they wished they could act independently
• Shows good judgement about when to act and when to escalate

What to do with the answer: Clarify their authority explicitly. Give them more where appropriate — "You can comp a dessert or a drink without asking me. Anything over £30, check with me." Clear boundaries are better than vague expectations.

"Is there anything you need from me that you are not getting?"

This is the most important question in the section. It directly asks whether you're doing your job as their manager. Whatever they say, write it down. Then do it or explain why you can't — within 48 hours, not at the next one-to-one.

What good answers sound like:

• Specific and actionable ("I need you to sort out the section rotation" rather than "more support")
• Trusts you enough to ask for something
• Acknowledges what you're already doing well alongside the gap

What to do with the answer: Deliver on it. Fast. If you make commitments and don't follow through, trust disappears and future one-to-ones become surface-level exercises.

Record energy levels, frustrations, and support requests. Flag anything that suggests burnout or flight risk — these notes are critical early-warning signs that need action, not just documentation.

Engagement Indicators

These are observational indicators you assess based on what you've seen during the week, not questions you ask directly. Tick each indicator that's genuinely present. Anything you can't tick is worth exploring — either in this meeting or through closer observation before the next one.

Maintaining usual quality of guest engagement and warmth — Are they still creating genuine connections with guests, or has service become transactional? A waiter who used to recommend dishes with enthusiasm but now just takes orders is showing disengagement. Pay attention to their energy at the greeting and whether they're reading tables or going through the motions.

Upselling and recommending to guests naturally — Are they still suggesting starters, sides, wines, and desserts as part of natural conversation? Waiters who stop upselling haven't forgotten how — they've stopped caring. This is one of the earliest and most reliable disengagement signals, and it directly affects your revenue.

Appearance and presentation standards consistent — Is their uniform as sharp as it was? Are they maintaining grooming standards? A subtle decline in presentation often signals declining engagement or personal difficulties. Don't make it about appearance policing — notice it as a potential indicator.

Arriving on time and staying engaged through the shift — Are they arriving ready for service or cutting it fine? Do they stay engaged through quieter periods or start clock-watching? Punctuality and sustained engagement indicate someone who values being here.

Supporting colleagues without being asked — Do they still run food for other sections, help clear tables, and cover breaks? Or have they retreated to "my section only"? Proactive teamwork is a strong engagement signal. Its absence suggests they're mentally withdrawing.

Showing interest in development or feedback — Do they ask questions, seek feedback, or show curiosity about improving? Or have career conversations gone flat? A waiter who shrugs at development questions has either given up on growing here or decided they're leaving.

Note which indicators you couldn't tick and what you've observed. If multiple indicators are absent, this waiter needs urgent attention — increase frequency to twice-weekly and focus on understanding what's changed.

Actions and Follow-Up

At the end of every one-to-one, summarise what you've both agreed to do. Say it out loud before you finish:

"So by next week I'm going to: [your actions]. And you're going to: [their actions]. Is that right?"

Then send a brief text confirming: "From today: I'm sorting [X] + [Y]. You're trying [Z]. Chat next [day] at [time]."

What to record:

• Your commitments with deadlines (e.g., "Review section rotation by Friday")
• Their commitments with deadlines (e.g., "Try the new table greeting approach this weekend")
• Any items to escalate to your manager
• Topics to revisit next time

Follow-through matters more than anything else in this template. If you promise something, tell them when you've done it — don't wait for the next meeting. Text: "Reviewed the section rotation — you'll have tables 12-16 on Saturday." Waiters are used to managers who don't follow through. Being reliable sets you apart. If you can't do something you promised, tell them immediately and offer an alternative.

Session Notes

Record your overall impressions from the conversation: patterns you're noticing, changes in their engagement or mood, anything you want to revisit in future sessions.

This is also where you note how your approach should adapt:

• First 90 days: 80% listening, 20% guiding. Focus on understanding their world.
• Established relationship: Push into development territory. Career conversations, leadership opportunities, skill-building.
• When things are going well: Share business context, ask for their input on operational decisions, acknowledge specific contributions.
• When things are struggling: Increase frequency, ask diagnostic questions, focus on support rather than criticism. Remove obstacles faster.

Over time, these session notes create a narrative of your working relationship — invaluable for performance reviews and progression decisions.

What's next

Once you've established regular one-to-ones, the conversations you have will feed directly into formal performance reviews. See our guide on Waiter performance reviews for how to use the evidence you gather in these sessions to write a thorough, fair assessment.

• Read our Waiter job description for the full scope of responsibilities
• Check out our Waiter onboarding guide if you're supporting someone in their first 90 days