How to Use the Restaurant Assistant Manager One-to-One Template

Why structured restaurant assistant manager one-to-ones matter

Your assistant manager is the person who keeps the restaurant running when you're not there — and often when you are. They bridge the gap between your strategic decisions and the team's daily reality. When they're thriving, operations are consistent, the team feels supported, and problems get solved before they reach you. When they're struggling, standards slip, the team loses direction, and you find yourself firefighting issues that should have been handled.

The challenge is that assistant managers often absorb problems silently. They're close enough to the ground to see everything but senior enough to feel they should handle it themselves. Without intentional one-to-ones, you'll only hear about issues when they've already become significant — or when your assistant manager has quietly decided they're done.

This template structures your conversations around the areas that matter most for assistant manager performance and development. Each section builds on the last: preparation gives you context, their agenda shows you what's on their mind, the discussion sections cover role performance, team dynamics, growth, and wellbeing, and the engagement indicators give you an early-warning system for disengagement.

Preparation

Complete these steps before each meeting to ensure a focused and productive conversation. Arriving prepared shows your assistant manager that you take this time seriously.

Review notes from previous one-to-one — Pull up the notes from your last session. What actions did you commit to? What did they commit to? If you promised to delegate more decision-making authority or address a specific staffing issue, check whether you followed through. Walking in without knowing what was agreed last time undermines the entire process.

Check recent performance data or feedback — Glance at shift reports, revenue data, complaint logs, and any feedback from the team or guests. Pay particular attention to shifts they managed independently — how did things run when you weren't there? This gives you specific talking points and shows you're paying attention to their impact.

Note any observations from the past week — Think about what you've noticed during the fortnight. Did they handle a crisis well? Were there moments where they deferred decisions they should have made? Did they step up with the team or seem withdrawn? Write down two or three specific observations before the meeting.

Send agenda prompt to employee ahead of time — Message them the day before: "We're catching up tomorrow — anything you want to make sure we cover?" This gives them time to think. An assistant manager is constantly in reactive mode; giving them space to prepare their own agenda leads to better conversations. If they reply "nothing specific," try: "What's the one thing about this restaurant that's been on your mind most?"

Customisation tips:

• Schedule fortnightly at the same time — a weekday afternoon between lunch and dinner works well
• 25-30 minutes is appropriate. This isn't a brief check-in — you need enough time for substantive conversation
• Meet somewhere private but informal. An office is fine for an assistant manager — they're used to operational conversations
• For the first 90 days, keep these weekly. After that, fortnightly is appropriate if the relationship is strong and they're performing well

Their Agenda

Start every one-to-one by asking: "What's been on your mind?" Record whatever they raise before covering your own items.

If they say "nothing really," don't fill the silence immediately. Count to five. Assistant managers are often diplomatic — they filter what they tell you because they know you have enough to worry about. If they still don't volunteer anything, offer a specific opener: "What's the thing about this restaurant that would surprise me if I saw it through your eyes?" This frames it as valuable intelligence rather than a complaint.

Once they're talking, ask "What else?" until they run out. Don't jump to solutions or share your perspective yet. This section is about understanding their world, not managing it.

If you have items to cover — budget changes, staffing decisions, operational priorities — mention them at the start so they know it's coming, then let them go first: "I want to talk about the rota approach before we finish, but first — what's been on your mind since we last spoke?"

What to record: Their exact concerns in their own words. Don't paraphrase into management language — "the supervisors aren't stepping up when I need them" captures reality better than "discussed supervisory development needs."

Role Performance

These four questions are designed to uncover what's really happening at the operational level and how your assistant manager is performing in their core responsibilities. Work through each one during the conversation and tick it off as you cover it.

"What do you see happening in the restaurant that I don't? What's on the ground that's not making it to my level?"

This is the most valuable question you can ask your assistant manager. They see things you don't — shortcuts the team takes when you're not watching, frustrations that never get voiced upward, small problems that are growing. By asking directly, you give them permission to be honest about things they might otherwise filter.

What good answers sound like:

• Specific observations about operations, team behaviour, or guest experience that you genuinely haven't seen
• Identifies emerging problems rather than just existing ones you already know about
• Trusts you enough to share uncomfortable truths without sugar-coating

What to do with the answer: Listen without defensiveness. If they tell you something you didn't know, acknowledge it openly: "I didn't know that — thank you for telling me." Then act on it. If you dismiss what they share, they'll stop sharing.

"When you're running the restaurant and I'm not here, what decisions are you making? What are you checking with me on that you probably don't need to?"

This reveals the actual decision-making boundary between you and your assistant manager. If they're checking with you before making routine operational calls, you haven't delegated enough. If they're making decisions you should know about, you need to calibrate. The goal is finding the right level of autonomy for their experience and judgement.

What good answers sound like:

• Specific examples of decisions they made independently and how they went
• Honest about decisions they deferred to you that they probably could have handled
• Shows growing confidence in their own judgement while knowing when to escalate

What to do with the answer: Explicitly widen their authority where appropriate. "You don't need to check with me about [X] — use your judgement and tell me afterwards." Clear permission to act builds confidence and efficiency.

"How are we doing on the floor operation basics — opening, closing, shift handovers, pre-service? Any of those slipping?"

This grounds the conversation in the operational fundamentals that your assistant manager owns day-to-day. If opening checklists aren't being completed properly, or shift handovers are sloppy, or pre-service briefings have become routine rather than useful, these are early indicators of declining standards — and they're the assistant manager's responsibility to maintain.

What good answers sound like:

• Honest about which basics are solid and which are slipping, with specific examples
• Identifies why things are slipping — is it staffing, training, attitude, or systems?
• Has already taken steps to address issues rather than just flagging them

What to do with the answer: If basics are slipping, work with them on a plan to fix it. Don't just tell them to sort it out — ask what they need from you to make it happen. If they've already taken action, acknowledge it.

"What's one thing about how we run this restaurant that you'd change if it were entirely up to you?"

This invites your assistant manager to think like a GM. Their answer reveals their operational instincts, their frustrations with current systems, and whether they're still engaged enough to want to improve things. It also gives you a window into how they'd run the restaurant if they were in charge — useful intelligence for their development.

What good answers sound like:

• Specific and practical rather than vague or unrealistic
• Shows understanding of the trade-offs involved in the change
• Reveals genuine operational thinking rather than personal preferences

What to do with the answer: Take it seriously. Even if you can't implement the change, explain your reasoning transparently. If the idea has merit, pilot it and give them ownership of the outcome. Nothing develops an assistant manager faster than seeing their ideas implemented.

Record the key points from your discussion, focusing on intelligence they shared, decision-making boundaries, operational standards, and proposed changes. Note specific examples — these are valuable evidence for performance reviews.

Team and Relationships

These questions surface the people dynamics that affect the restaurant's performance — performance concerns, supervisor effectiveness, kitchen partnership, and emerging talent.

"Who on the team are you most worried about right now — performance, attitude, or flight risk?"

Your assistant manager sees team dynamics more clearly than you do. This question surfaces their concerns about specific individuals — someone whose performance is declining, whose attitude is poisoning the team, or who's showing signs of leaving. Early intervention on people issues prevents crises.

What good answers sound like:

• Names specific individuals and explains their concern with evidence
• Distinguishes between performance, attitude, and retention risks
• Shows they've already thought about what to do, even if they need your support

What to do with the answer: Take their concerns seriously. If it's a performance issue, agree on a management approach together. If it's a flight risk, discuss what you can offer to retain them. If it's an attitude problem, address it promptly — one toxic team member can damage an entire shift.

"How's your relationship with the supervisors and shift leads? Are they stepping up, or are you covering for gaps?"

If your assistant manager is covering for supervisors who aren't performing, they're doing two jobs and burning out. This question reveals whether the management layer below them is functioning or whether they're absorbing responsibilities that should be distributed.

What good answers sound like:

• Honest about individual supervisor performance, not just blanket assessments
• Identifies specific gaps — is it capability, confidence, or willingness?
• Shows they're trying to develop supervisors rather than just working around them

What to do with the answer: If supervisors aren't stepping up, discuss whether it's a development issue or a personnel issue. Support your assistant manager in having difficult conversations with underperforming supervisors. Don't let them carry the burden alone.

"How's the relationship with the kitchen? Is there genuine partnership, or underlying friction?"

The FOH-kitchen relationship is a bellwether for the restaurant's health. Your assistant manager is often the person who manages this relationship day-to-day. This question reveals whether there's genuine collaboration or simmering tension that affects service.

What good answers sound like:

• Specific about what's working and what creates friction
• Shows understanding of kitchen pressures alongside FOH needs
• Identifies concrete communication or process issues rather than personality clashes

What to do with the answer: If there's friction, don't dismiss it as normal hospitality tension. Facilitate a conversation between your assistant manager and the head chef. Consider joint problem-solving on specific issues rather than letting them fester.

"Who on the team has impressed you lately? Anyone I should be paying more attention to for development?"

This flips the conversation from problems to potential. Your assistant manager sees team members in action daily — they know who's growing, who's ready for more responsibility, and who has potential that's not being tapped. This intelligence helps you plan succession and development.

What good answers sound like:

• Names specific individuals with specific examples of impressive behaviour
• Identifies potential that goes beyond current performance — someone who might thrive in a different role
• Shows they're actively thinking about developing the team, not just managing it

What to do with the answer: Follow up visibly. If they highlight someone, find an opportunity to acknowledge that person yourself. This shows your assistant manager that their observations lead to action, and it signals to the team that good work gets noticed.

Capture the people dynamics discussed, any performance concerns, and emerging talent worth developing. Note supervisor effectiveness carefully — this directly affects your assistant manager's workload and sustainability.

Growth and Development

These questions explore career aspirations and development needs. The answers shape how you invest in your assistant manager's growth.

"Do you see yourself moving to GM, or are you thinking about something different — multi-site, head office, your own place?"

Understanding their ambition is essential for developing them appropriately. An aspiring GM needs exposure to P&L, commercial decisions, and strategic planning. Someone interested in multi-site needs breadth across different operations. Someone thinking about their own place needs business planning and entrepreneurial skills. There's no wrong answer — but each one changes what you focus on.

What good answers sound like:

• Honest about their direction without performing loyalty
• Specific about what interests them and why
• Shows they've thought about it rather than just going through the motions

What to do with the answer: Align their development to their stated ambition. If they want GM, start giving them P&L visibility and strategic decision-making opportunities. If they're thinking about their own place, help them build the skills they'll need — you'll get better work from someone you're genuinely developing, even if they leave eventually.

"What parts of my job would you feel ready to do if I was suddenly gone for a month? What would worry you?"

This is a brilliantly practical readiness assessment. Their answer tells you exactly where they feel confident, where they feel exposed, and what development gaps remain. It also reveals how much of your role you've actually made transparent to them.

What good answers sound like:

• Specific about which responsibilities they'd handle confidently and which would be challenging
• Honest about gaps rather than pretending they can do everything
• Shows awareness of the breadth of the GM role beyond what they see daily

What to do with the answer: For the areas they'd handle confidently, start delegating more. For the areas that would worry them, create deliberate exposure — involve them in those processes, let them shadow you, or give them supervised ownership.

"What would make you feel like a genuine partner here, rather than just second-in-command?"

This question addresses one of the most common assistant manager frustrations — being close to senior leadership but not feeling truly included. Their answer reveals what they need to feel valued, respected, and invested in the business rather than just executing your decisions.

What good answers sound like:

• Specific about what's missing — is it decision-making authority, visibility, information, or recognition?
• Shows they want to contribute more, not just be included as a courtesy
• Constructive rather than bitter about the current dynamic

What to do with the answer: This is a commitment to change your own behaviour. If they want more decision-making authority, give it. If they want visibility into commercial performance, share it. If they want recognition, provide it. Whatever they name, act on it within a fortnight.

"Where do you see yourself in two years? Here as GM, somewhere else, something different?"

The honest answer to this question is the most valuable piece of information in the entire one-to-one. If they're planning to leave, you can make their remaining time positive and plan for succession. If they want your job, you need a clear timeline and development plan. If they're uncertain, you have an opportunity to influence their decision.

What good answers sound like:

• Genuine honesty rather than what they think you want to hear
• Specific enough to be actionable
• Willing to have the conversation rather than deflecting

What to do with the answer: Don't react emotionally to any answer. If they want your role, discuss the pathway openly. If they want to leave, ask what would change their mind. If they don't know, help them think through it — and make sure the opportunities here are clear.

Record their career direction, readiness gaps, partnership needs, and development interests. This feeds directly into performance review objectives and helps you plan succession.

Wellbeing and Support

These questions catch frustration, authority gaps, and workload sustainability before they cause burnout or resignation. Ask them genuinely, not as a box-ticking exercise.

"What's the single most frustrating thing about this job right now? If you could fix one thing by next month, what would it be?"

This cuts through diplomacy to their top priority. Whatever they name is the thing most likely to drive them away if it's not addressed. The "single most" framing forces them to prioritise. The "by next month" framing tells them you're looking for something actionable.

What good answers sound like:

• Names something specific and fixable rather than vague dissatisfaction
• Trusts you enough to be honest about genuine frustrations
• Differentiates between temporary annoyances and persistent problems

What to do with the answer: Fix it if you can. If you can't, explain why and offer alternatives. Either way, respond within a week — speed of response matters more than the outcome.

"Do you have enough authority to do your job properly? Where do you feel you should be making calls but can't?"

Authority gaps are the single biggest source of assistant manager frustration. If they're running the restaurant but can't approve a comp, adjust a schedule, or make a hiring decision without checking with you, they feel like a supervisor with a bigger title. This question reveals whether you've genuinely empowered them.

What good answers sound like:

• Clear about where they feel empowered and where they feel restricted
• Specific examples of situations where they wished they could act independently
• Shows good judgement about what they should and shouldn't decide alone

What to do with the answer: Explicitly widen their authority. Put it in writing if needed: "You can approve comps up to £X. You can adjust the weekly rota without checking. You can make hiring decisions for hourly roles." Clear boundaries build confidence.

"How's your workload? Are you managing the restaurant or just surviving it?"

Burnout is a serious risk for assistant managers. They often work the hardest shifts, cover gaps in the rota, handle problems that should sit with supervisors, and then do administrative work on top. This question checks whether the workload is sustainable or whether they're running on fumes.

What good answers sound like:

• Honest about energy levels and sustainability
• Identifies specific drains — is it hours, coverage gaps, administrative burden, or emotional load?
• Distinguishes between busy (productive) and overwhelmed (unsustainable)

What to do with the answer: If they're overwhelmed, look at the workload objectively. Are they covering shifts that should be supervised? Are they doing admin that could be delegated or automated? Are they taking enough time off? Small adjustments can prevent burnout.

"Is there anything you need from me that you're not getting?"

This is the most important question in the section. It directly asks whether you're doing your job as their manager. Whatever they say, write it down. Then do it or explain why you can't — within 48 hours, not at the next one-to-one.

What good answers sound like:

• Specific and actionable ("I need you to back my decisions in front of the team" rather than "more support")
• Trusts you enough to ask for something
• Acknowledges what you're already doing well alongside the gap

What to do with the answer: Deliver on it. Fast. If you make commitments and don't follow through, trust disappears and future one-to-ones become surface-level exercises.

Record frustrations, authority gaps, and workload concerns. Flag anything that suggests burnout or flight risk — these notes are critical early-warning signs that need action, not just documentation.

Engagement Indicators

These are observational indicators you assess based on what you've seen during the fortnight, not questions you ask directly. Tick each indicator that's genuinely present. Anything you can't tick is worth exploring — either in this meeting or through closer observation before the next one.

Actively offering opinions and challenging thinking — Is your assistant manager still pushing back on ideas they disagree with, or have they started saying yes to everything? An engaged assistant manager challenges your thinking — respectfully but directly. One who's stopped challenging has either given up on influence or decided they're leaving.

Visible and leading operations on the floor — Are they on the floor during service, leading from the front, or have they retreated to the office and admin tasks? An assistant manager who's still visible and engaged during service is invested. One who avoids the floor is often overwhelmed or disengaged.

Taking ownership of decisions independently — Are they making operational calls confidently, or are they deferring everything to you? An assistant manager who takes ownership is growing. One who's suddenly risk-averse may be protecting themselves rather than investing in the business.

Investing in team development and performance — Are they still coaching, developing, and holding the team accountable? Or have they stopped investing in people because they've given up on improvement? Active people development is one of the strongest engagement signals in a management role.

Engaging positively about other opportunities — Do they talk about the restaurant's future with enthusiasm, or have their comments become cynical? Listen to how they discuss upcoming changes, business goals, or industry news. Positive engagement indicates investment.

Pursuing development opportunities actively — Are they seeking out learning, asking for new challenges, or requesting exposure to new areas? Or have development conversations gone flat? An assistant manager who's stopped pursuing growth has either stagnated or decided this isn't their long-term home.

Note which indicators you couldn't tick and what you've observed. If multiple indicators are absent, your assistant manager needs urgent attention — increase frequency to weekly and focus on understanding what's changed.

Actions and Follow-Up

At the end of every one-to-one, summarise what you've both agreed to do. Say it out loud before you finish:

"So by next fortnight I'm going to: [your actions]. And you're going to: [their actions]. Is that right?"

Then send a brief message confirming: "From today: I'm sorting [X] + [Y]. You're working on [Z]. Chat next [day] at [time]."

What to record:

• Your commitments with deadlines (e.g., "Share P&L data by Friday")
• Their commitments with deadlines (e.g., "Address supervisor performance issue by end of week")
• Any items to escalate to ownership or head office
• Topics to revisit next time

Follow-through matters more than anything else in this template. If you promise something, tell them when you've done it — don't wait for the next meeting. Message: "Sent through the P&L breakdown — let's discuss when you've had a chance to review." An assistant manager who sees their GM follow through on commitments will do the same for their own team. If you can't do something you promised, tell them immediately and offer an alternative.

Session Notes

Record your overall impressions from the conversation: patterns you're noticing, changes in their engagement or mood, anything you want to revisit in future sessions.

This is also where you note how your approach should adapt:

• First 90 days: 60% listening, 40% aligning. Focus on understanding how they operate and what they need from you.
• Established relationship: Push into strategic territory. P&L conversations, commercial decisions, people strategy.
• When things are going well: Share more, delegate more, treat them as a genuine partner. Include them in decisions before they're made, not after.
• When things are struggling: Increase frequency, ask diagnostic questions, focus on removing obstacles rather than adding pressure.

Over time, these session notes create a narrative of your working relationship — invaluable for performance reviews and progression decisions.

What's next

Once you've established regular one-to-ones, the conversations you have will feed directly into formal performance reviews. See our guide on Restaurant Assistant Manager performance reviews for how to use the evidence you gather in these sessions to write a thorough, fair assessment.

• Read our Restaurant Assistant Manager interview guide for hiring the right person in the first place
• Check out our Restaurant Assistant Manager onboarding guide if you're supporting someone in their first 90 days