How to Use the Hotel Assistant Manager One-to-One Template

Why structured hotel assistant manager one-to-ones matter

Your hotel assistant manager is the person who runs the property when you're not there — and increasingly when you are. They bridge the gap between your strategic vision and the operational reality of front desk, housekeeping, F&B, and maintenance working together every day. When they're thriving, the hotel operates seamlessly whether you're present or not. When they're struggling, you see departments working in silos, guest complaints escalating unnecessarily, and a leadership vacuum on the floor.

The challenge is that assistant managers often operate in a grey zone — responsible enough to be accountable, but not always empowered enough to act. They handle guest escalations, coordinate departments, manage duty shifts, and develop supervisors, often without the authority or recognition that comes with the GM title. Without intentional one-to-ones, their frustrations accumulate quietly until they either disengage or leave for a GM role elsewhere.

This template structures your conversations around the areas that matter most for assistant manager performance and retention. Each section builds on the last: preparation gives you context, their agenda shows you what's on their mind, the discussion sections cover role performance, team dynamics, growth, and wellbeing, and the engagement indicators give you an early-warning system for disengagement.

Preparation

Complete these steps before each meeting to ensure a focused and productive conversation. Arriving prepared shows your hotel assistant manager that you take this time seriously.

Review notes from previous one-to-one — Pull up the notes from your last session. What actions did you commit to? What did they commit to? If you promised to clarify their authority on a specific matter, give them more involvement in budget decisions, or address a department head issue, check whether you followed through. Walking in without knowing what was agreed last time undermines the entire process.

Check recent performance data or feedback — Review how the hotel performed during their duty shifts. Look at guest satisfaction scores, TripAdvisor reviews from the past week, any escalated complaints, and occupancy or revenue data. Check how things ran during your last absence — this is the clearest measure of their capability. This takes five minutes and gives you specific talking points.

Note any observations from the past week — Think about what you've noticed about their leadership on the floor. Did they handle a guest escalation well? Were they visible during peak check-in? Did you notice them coaching a supervisor or resolving a cross-department issue? Write down two or three specific observations before the meeting.

Send agenda prompt to employee ahead of time — Message them the day before: "What do you want to talk about in our catch-up tomorrow?" This gives them time to think beyond day-to-day firefighting. Assistant managers spend their time reacting to operational demands; strategic reflection requires preparation. If they reply "all good," try: "What's one thing you'd change about how the hotel runs this week?"

Customisation tips:

• Schedule weekly at the same time — early afternoon works well, after the morning rush but before the evening shift change
• 30 minutes is enough for a weekly check-in. Extend if strategic topics arise
• Meet in a private space — your office is fine for this relationship, but keep it conversational rather than formal
• For the first 6 months, keep these weekly without exception. This is your most important direct report — invest accordingly

Their Agenda

Start every one-to-one by asking: "What's been on your mind?" Record whatever they raise before covering your own items.

If they say "nothing really," don't fill the silence immediately. Count to five. Assistant managers are conditioned to solve problems rather than share them. If they still don't, offer a specific opener: "Walk me through your duty shift on Saturday — what was the trickiest moment?" The specific framing works because "How was your week?" is too vague for someone who managed 50 different situations.

Once they're talking, ask "What else?" until they run out. Don't jump to solutions or share your perspective yet. This section is about understanding their world, not directing it. An assistant manager who feels heard will share the real concerns — the ones they'd otherwise just absorb and manage alone.

If you have items to cover — budget updates, upcoming inspections, corporate requirements — mention them at the start so they know it's coming, then let them go first: "I want to discuss the audit preparation before we finish, but first — what's been on your mind since last week?"

What to record: Their exact concerns in their own words. Don't paraphrase into GM language — "housekeeping supervisor is struggling with the new rota system" captures reality better than "discussed departmental operational challenges."

Role Performance

These four questions are designed to uncover how the hotel is truly operating from your assistant manager's perspective — including the things they see that you don't. Work through each one during the conversation and tick it off as you cover it.

"What do you see happening in this hotel that I don't? What am I missing?"

This is the most powerful question you can ask your assistant manager. They're on the floor more than you. They see the guest interactions, the department dynamics, the shortcuts being taken, and the small problems that haven't yet become big ones. By explicitly asking what you're missing, you give them permission to tell you uncomfortable truths that they might otherwise filter.

What good answers sound like:

• Names specific observations that you genuinely weren't aware of
• Includes both problems and opportunities
• Shows they're paying attention to the detail of hotel operations

What to do with the answer: Listen without being defensive. If they're telling you something you didn't know, that's the system working. Act on what they share — if they see something you need to address, address it. If you ignore what they tell you, they'll stop telling you.

"What decisions are you making that you're not sure about? Where do you want my input?"

This surfaces their decision-making confidence and the boundary between autonomy and support. An assistant manager who never needs your input may be overconfident or avoiding difficult decisions. One who checks everything is either underconfident or hasn't been given clear enough authority. The sweet spot is someone who makes most decisions independently but knows when to seek your perspective.

What good answers sound like:

• Names specific decisions they've made or are facing
• Shows good judgement about what warrants your input
• Asks for perspective rather than approval

What to do with the answer: If they're asking about routine decisions, clarify their authority — they shouldn't need your approval for standard operational matters. If they're asking about genuinely complex situations, work through them together. The goal is to build their confidence while maintaining appropriate oversight.

"How are the departments performing? Front desk, housekeeping, F&B, maintenance — where are the strengths and concerns?"

This tests their whole-hotel awareness. An assistant manager who can give you a department-by-department assessment — with evidence — is demonstrating GM-level thinking. One who only knows their own areas of focus may need development in cross-departmental leadership.

What good answers sound like:

• Assesses each department with specific evidence rather than generalisations
• Identifies both strengths to build on and concerns to address
• Shows they're actively monitoring rather than waiting for problems to surface

What to do with the answer: Use their assessment as a cross-reference for your own observations. Where you agree, acknowledge their insight. Where you disagree, discuss why — the different perspectives make you both better informed.

"When I'm not here, what's the hardest part of running this hotel?"

This reveals the gaps in your systems, processes, and empowerment. Whatever they find hardest during your absence is either something you haven't delegated properly, something they need more authority to handle, or something the hotel's systems don't support. It also tells you how ready they are for a GM role — the things that challenge them now are the things they'll need to master.

What good answers sound like:

• Names something specific rather than saying "it's all fine"
• Identifies whether the challenge is authority, knowledge, systems, or confidence
• Shows they're reflecting on their own development rather than just coping

What to do with the answer: Address the barrier. If it's authority, delegate it explicitly. If it's knowledge, create exposure. If it's systems, fix them. Your absence should be an opportunity for them to grow, not just survive.

Record the key points from your discussion, focusing on insights they shared, decisions they're navigating, department assessments, and the challenges of running the hotel in your absence. These notes are invaluable evidence for performance reviews and progression readiness.

Team and Relationships

These questions surface how your hotel assistant manager is leading the broader team — supervisors, department heads, and cross-functional relationships.

"How's your management team — supervisors, heads of department? Who's performing, who needs attention?"

An assistant manager's performance is ultimately measured by the performance of the people they oversee. This question reveals whether they're actively managing the leadership layer below them or just coordinating operations. The best assistant managers will be specific about each person.

What good answers sound like:

• Names specific individuals with evidence-based assessments
• Distinguishes between performance issues and development needs
• Shows they're coaching rather than just monitoring

What to do with the answer: If someone needs attention, ask what support they need from you. If someone is performing well, ask how they're retaining them.

"Who on the team are you worried about losing? Who's ready for more responsibility?"

Talent retention and development are GM-level skills that your assistant manager needs to develop. This question tests whether they're thinking ahead about their team — both the risks and the opportunities. If they can't name anyone in either category, they may not be close enough to their people.

What good answers sound like:

• Names specific individuals in both categories
• Has a plan for retention and development
• Shows awareness that good people have options

What to do with the answer: Support their talent plans. If someone is at flight risk, discuss what you can offer. If someone is ready for more responsibility, create the opportunity together.

"How's the cross-department coordination? Are front desk, housekeeping, and F&B working together, or are there friction points?"

Cross-department coordination is where assistant managers add the most value. They're the person who sees the whole operation — front desk promised an early check-in, but housekeeping hasn't been told; F&B has a function but maintenance hasn't set up the AV. This question surfaces whether the coordination machinery is working.

What good answers sound like:

• Identifies specific coordination successes and failures
• Understands the root causes of friction (communication, systems, personalities)
• Shows they're actively facilitating rather than just escalating

What to do with the answer: If there are friction points, discuss whether they're systemic or personality-driven. Systemic issues need process fixes; personality issues need intervention. Support them in resolving both.

"How's your relationship with me working? Is there anything I'm doing that makes your job harder?"

This is the bravest question in the template — and the most important. Your working relationship with your assistant manager directly affects hotel performance. If you're micromanaging, they can't grow. If you're absent, they feel unsupported. If you're inconsistent, they can't make decisions. Asking this question creates space for honest feedback about your own management.

What good answers sound like:

• Trusts you enough to give genuine feedback
• Names something specific rather than deflecting
• Focuses on behaviours and impact rather than personal criticism

What to do with the answer: Don't be defensive. Whatever they say, take it seriously. If you're undermining their authority in front of staff, stop. If you're not sharing enough context for them to make good decisions, share more. This question only works if you act on the answer.

Capture the team dynamics discussed, talent risks and development opportunities, cross-department coordination issues, and any feedback about your working relationship. Note succession planning progress — this is critical context for their performance review.

Growth and Development

These questions explore career aspirations and what keeps your hotel assistant manager engaged. The answers shape how you develop them — and how long you can expect to retain them.

"Do you see yourself moving to GM? Multi-site management? Something different?"

The answer determines your entire development strategy. An assistant manager who wants to be a GM needs exposure to the parts of the role they don't yet handle — owner relations, full P&L accountability, strategic planning, capital expenditure decisions. One who wants a multi-site role needs standardisation and remote leadership skills. Someone uncertain needs help clarifying their direction.

What good answers sound like:

• Honest about their ambition without performing loyalty
• Specific about what interests them
• Shows they've thought about it seriously

What to do with the answer: If they want to be a GM, create a development plan that closes the gaps. Involve them in your GM-level activities — owner meetings, budget reviews, strategic discussions. If they want multi-site, connect them with regional leadership.

"What would you need to be ready for your own hotel?"

This forces them to self-assess against the GM role. Whatever they name as missing tells you where to focus their development. Common answers include: full P&L accountability, owner/stakeholder management, commercial decision-making, or confidence to run independently. Each answer suggests different development actions.

What good answers sound like:

• Names specific gaps with self-awareness
• Shows ambition without arrogance
• Connects their development needs to practical exposure

What to do with the answer: Build the exposure they need. If it's P&L, give them sections of the budget to own. If it's stakeholder management, bring them to owner meetings. If it's confidence, create opportunities for them to lead without you.

"What would make this the best AM role you've ever had? What's missing?"

This is a retention question. Whatever they name as "missing" is the thing most likely to push them toward looking elsewhere. It might be authority, recognition, involvement in strategic decisions, or simply feeling like they're growing. The answer is always actionable if you listen properly.

What good answers sound like:

• Names something specific and honest
• Identifies gaps in the role rather than just the organisation
• Suggests improvements rather than just complaints

What to do with the answer: Address what you can, quickly. Be honest about what you can't change. Either way, respond within a week.

"If you were going to leave, what would be the reason?"

The most direct retention question you can ask. It bypasses politeness and gets to the real risk factors. Common answers for assistant managers include: not being given enough authority, feeling overlooked for GM roles, better opportunities elsewhere, or frustration with the pace of their development. Whatever they say, don't react emotionally — write it down and address it.

What good answers sound like:

• Trusts you enough to be honest
• Names a specific factor rather than deflecting
• Distinguishes between real frustrations and hypothetical complaints

What to do with the answer: If it's fixable, fix it. If it's structural (no GM vacancy available), acknowledge it and discuss alternatives. The fact that you asked builds trust regardless of the outcome.

Record their career direction, development gaps, and retention risks. This feeds directly into performance review objectives and helps you plan succession — both for their role and for the GM position.

Wellbeing and Support

These questions catch the specific pressures of being second-in-command — the accountability without full authority, the constant availability, and the challenge of managing upward and downward simultaneously.

"Do you have enough authority to run this hotel properly? Where do you feel you should be making calls but can't?"

This is the fundamental question for any assistant manager. The gap between their responsibility and their authority is often the biggest source of frustration in the role. If they're accountable for hotel performance during duty shifts but can't authorise a room upgrade, approve a maintenance repair, or make a staffing decision, you've created an impossible position.

What good answers sound like:

• Names specific areas where authority is insufficient
• Gives examples of situations where they were hampered by needing approval
• Shows good judgement about what should and shouldn't be within their authority

What to do with the answer: Expand their authority where appropriate. Be explicit: "From now on, you can authorise room upgrades, approve maintenance up to [amount], and make duty staffing decisions without checking with me." Clear boundaries prevent confusion and build confidence.

"What's the single most frustrating thing about your role right now?"

This cuts through professionalism to their top priority. Whatever they name is the thing most likely to drive them out if it's not addressed. For assistant managers, common frustrations include: not being included in decisions that affect them, having authority undermined in front of staff, or handling all the operational burden without the title or pay.

What good answers sound like:

• Names something specific and fixable
• Differentiates between temporary annoyances and persistent problems
• Trusts you enough to be honest about genuine frustrations

What to do with the answer: Fix it if you can. If you can't, explain why and offer alternatives. Respond within 48 hours — speed matters.

"What do you need from me that you're not getting?"

This directly asks whether you're doing your job as their GM. Whatever they say, write it down. Common answers include: more context on strategic decisions, more public recognition of their contribution, more autonomy, or simply more of your time and attention.

What good answers sound like:

• Specific and actionable
• Trusts you enough to ask
• Acknowledges what you're already doing well alongside the gap

What to do with the answer: Deliver on it. Fast. Your assistant manager is your most important direct report — if they feel unsupported, everything downstream suffers.

"How sustainable is your current workload? Are you managing, or are you burning out?"

Assistant managers often work the hours that nobody else wants — duty shifts, weekends, bank holidays, covering for absent department heads. The cumulative toll of always being available is real. This question gives them permission to be honest about whether the workload is sustainable.

What good answers sound like:

• Honest about energy levels rather than performing toughness
• Identifies specific patterns that are unsustainable
• Distinguishes between busy periods and chronic overwork

What to do with the answer: If they're burning out, review the duty rota. Can responsibilities be shared differently? Are they covering gaps that should be filled with recruitment? Small adjustments — a guaranteed day off after a duty weekend, protecting a development afternoon — make a material difference.

Record authority gaps, frustrations, support needs, and workload concerns. Flag anything that suggests burnout or flight risk — these notes are critical early-warning signs that need action, not just documentation.

Engagement Indicators

These are observational indicators you assess based on what you've seen during the week, not questions you ask directly. Tick each indicator that's genuinely present. Anything you can't tick is worth exploring — either in this meeting or through closer observation before the next one.

Offering opinions and pushing back on decisions — Are they still challenging your thinking and offering alternative perspectives? An assistant manager who stops pushing back has either given up on influencing you or decided they're leaving. Healthy disagreement is a strong engagement signal.

Making decisions confidently without excessive checking — Are they making operational decisions within their authority, or are they checking everything with you? An assistant manager who starts seeking approval for routine decisions is either losing confidence or distancing themselves from accountability.

Maintaining high floor presence and visibility — Are they visible across the hotel during their shifts — lobby, restaurant, corridors, back of house? An assistant manager who retreats to the office has disengaged from operations. Floor presence is how they read the hotel.

Bringing innovative ideas regularly — Are they still suggesting improvements, new initiatives, or better ways of doing things? An assistant manager who stops innovating has either lost hope that things will change or stopped investing in the hotel's future.

Speaking about the hotel with ownership language — Do they say "our hotel" and "my team" or "the hotel" and "the staff"? Ownership language reveals emotional investment. Its absence suggests they've mentally distanced from the property.

Showing certainty about future plans — Do they talk about what they want to achieve in the coming months? Or have conversations about the future gone vague? An assistant manager who avoids future-focused discussion may be planning to leave it.

Note which indicators you couldn't tick and what you've observed. If multiple indicators are absent, this assistant manager needs urgent attention — increase meeting frequency and focus on understanding what's changed.

Actions and Follow-Up

At the end of every one-to-one, summarise what you've both agreed to do. Say it out loud before you finish:

"So by next week I'm going to: [your actions]. And you're going to: [their actions]. Is that right?"

Then send a brief message confirming: "From today: I'm sorting [X] + [Y]. You're progressing [Z]. Chat next [day] at [time]."

What to record:

• Your commitments with deadlines (e.g., "Clarify duty authority levels by Friday")
• Their commitments with deadlines (e.g., "Present department improvement plan by next meeting")
• Any items to escalate to regional or ownership level
• Topics to revisit next time

Follow-through matters more than anything else in this template. If you promise something, tell them when you've done it — don't wait for the next meeting. Message: "Updated the authority matrix — you now have sign-off on maintenance up to £500." Assistant managers are acutely aware of broken promises from GMs. Being reliable sets you apart. If you can't do something you promised, tell them immediately and offer an alternative.

Session Notes

Record your overall impressions from the conversation: patterns you're noticing, changes in their engagement or mood, anything you want to revisit in future sessions.

This is also where you note how your approach should adapt:

• First 6 months: Focus on understanding their strengths, building trust, and clarifying authority. Listen more than direct.
• Established relationship: Push into GM-readiness territory. Strategic thinking, owner relations exposure, full P&L involvement.
• When things are going well: Share business context, involve them in strategic decisions, acknowledge their contribution publicly.
• When things are struggling: Increase frequency, ask diagnostic questions, focus on support rather than criticism. Remove obstacles faster.

Over time, these session notes create a narrative of your working relationship — invaluable for performance reviews and GM-readiness assessments.

What's next

Once you've established regular one-to-ones, the conversations you have will feed directly into formal performance reviews. See our guide on Hotel Assistant Manager performance reviews for how to use the evidence you gather in these sessions to write a thorough, fair assessment.

• Check out our Hotel Assistant Manager onboarding guide if you're supporting someone in their first 90 days
• See our Hotel Assistant Manager interview questions for hiring guidance